On video, for some reason.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Luh6E3enlak

Your Mom Likes This Post.

Mothers Day is just around the corner! The one day a year we take notice and thank our moms for everything they've done. I mean without them, who else would we have to sing commercial jingles like they were auditioning for American Idol? Or to make sure we receive nothing less than the very best in our love lives?

Yeah. You get the picture. I don't really know what else to say about Mothers day. I have like 3 mothers I need to do something for. STAY ON YOUR MOM'S GOOD SIDE. It'll come back and bite you in the ass if you don't. They are always right, they know what's best, and for the love of GOD say their cooking is the greatest thing you have ever tasted. Even if you don't believe so, don't dare to disagree. Exalt the mashed potatoes, if you have to.

Hm... What else is new. I got new glasses! And it's weird, ever since I got them things have been strange at school. This cute girl that I had (have.... had... whatever) a crush on started sitting next to me. And being really nice to me. And wanting to do work with me...

Why is this strange, you ask? Because prior to having glasses, she hasn't talked to me ONCE. Ever. I don't even think she knew I existed.

Also, I keep hearing "You look smart."

Does this mean that prior to having glasses, I looked stupid? If I were to take my glasses off, would a couple points drop from my IQ? I dunno. 

I told my mom about the girl mentioned previously. See above picture for the story of how that went down.

(Albeit slightly exaggerated, NOT BY MUCH. That's the sad thing. There was even a point where she asked if we've ever engaged in sexual activities. I wish I were joking about that. Just to screw with her, I told her I just made out with her. Teehee.)

I tied my hair in a ponytail. My brother likes to pull on it.

I'm just ranting at this point, but this post is too short for my liking, so you'll have to deal with it.

...Eh, screw it. I'll write again later. Until next time! DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

-Mr. Fox

Oh, Internet...

Many of you are familiar with a little site called Omegle. If you're not, this website gives you a random stranger to talk to. 99% of the time, this random stranger is an aroused guy trying to get some e-booty. My webcam is pretty low-resolution, and on account of my long hair, and how much of my face is covered by my glasses, many of these guys seem like desperate weirdos who have lowered their standards to an androgynous looking... thing. IE, me. Who can now look either like a very pretty guy or a very ugly girl. Anyway, my boredom gets the better of me sometimes, and I'll troll around a bit on there. I will be starting this post as of May 02, 2011. I will continually update with conversations from Omegle that I find humorous. Enjoy!


UPDATE: May 02, 2011

Stranger: can i see your boobs=]??

You: Not even a please?

Stranger: pleas=]

You: Fail spelling.

You: Try again.

Stranger: please=]*

You: Make it a complete sentence...

Stranger: May I please see your boobs?

You: I'm a guy, dipshit

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 UPDATE: May 02, 2011

Stranger: hi

You: hiya

Stranger: do u show? if i show too

You: show what?

Stranger: [omitted] 

You:  You'll have to ask nicer than that, buddy boy.

Stranger: Prtty plz with a cherry on top may i see ur [omitted] ill do anything u want.

You: Anything, huh? Will you sing me a song?

(Stranger began to sing "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston)

You: Didn't impress me. Do a dance.

Stranger: really. ok what do u want me to do

You: Do the macarena.

Stranger: the macarena...

(I have a very deep laugh, and sadly enough I couldn't hold it anymore. He did it.  I would have toyed with this guy a lot more if I had the chance... He seemed desperate.)

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Who the Hell Called These Guys?

No one is perfect, I understand that much.

Everyone has their faults.

Very few people in this world have the kind that make them feel as though they have no faults.

Even though this is a fault in and of itself.

Remember, you are not perfect. 

Going on living your life as though you are, does not make it so.

One day, you will find your calling in life.

No one can do what you will be able to do. You will be different from everyone else.

No one can stop you from doing what you love.

A truly happy, yet imperfect individual can lead a nearly perfect existence.

Generation upon generation will go on thinking they have no calling in life, or wonder what that calling is.

I, for one, believe that we each have something to give that no one else can.

Viewing yourself as 'Someone with no future' is meaningless.

Everyone just has to make the decision as to how their future is determined.

You see, you can be whoever you want to be.

Open mind, open world. You can do whatever you want.

Unrealistic goals aside, you just have to put in the effort.

Unrealistic goals may be a possibility someday, but humor me for now and listen to me-

People will always need you around. Don't ever consider giving up because you think you aren't needed

Nothing can stop you once you accept the simple fact that nothing in life is perfect.

Everyone will set their standards too high at some point. But life happens.
Very few people find this calling in a short period of time.
Everyone goes at their own pace, but it always comes.
Remember- You are who you choose to be.
Go on doing your normal routine, you'll find it without trying, most likely.
One day, you'll have a lightbulb go off.
No, it won't be obvious.
No, it won't be easy.
At first, you may experience doubt.

Leave all these thoughts behind. You only work as hard as you're willing to.
Everyone has their own capacity for work, but you can do this.
Tell everyone else to "screw off, don't get in the way of my dreams!"
Yup, you  can do it.
Over the rainbow!  That's what you're shooting for.
Under the rainbow, eh. That's where the gold is, I guess....
Darn. Now I dunno what the hell to do with the rainbow.
Oh well, screw rainbow metaphors.
We'll get through this together! :D You have me.
Not in person, mind you. I don't swing that way.
Now I feel like I'm rambling. I'll be done in a minute.
Eh... What was I saying? Oh, right.
Very many people have faced criticism for doing what they wanted.
Even famous artists, actors, directors, you name it.
Really, this is getting long and tedious, and I can't take it anymore.
Going on with this post is torturous, isn't it?
One minute I talk about dreams, then goals, then rainbows.
No one really cares, right?
Nor do I expect you to read all this.
All I care about is one thing.
Really. That's it. One thing.
Unless of course, you've noticed it by now.
No... I've been too careful.
All I've been doing, since I started this blog....
Really, I've been plotting....
Only for this moment.
Ultimate chaos in one, true form.
Nothing in history compares to this.
Despair. Destruction. Deception.
Bah, screw it. I can't take it anymore. Do me a favor? Go back and read the first letter of every new line. I'll be back with a less lazy posting before the end of the month!
-Mr. Fox

Sorry....

Contrary to popular belief, I have not, in fact given up blogging. Or died, for that matter. Or contracted a horrible disease that slowly turns me into a land-occupying narwhal warlock hellbent on enslaving the human race. Or anything else that people may be thinking for that matter. Though the last one sounds interesting.... I'll have to draw a picture of that later. I don't really feel like drawing a lot right now. Yes, I'm lazy, And yes, you may hate me for it. But then I'll be sad. And when I'm sad, I'm SAD.

So, I've decided that I've overestimated my own ability, and bi-daily isn't going to work. Two times a month it is. And I WILL stick to this, or I'll just quit entirely. But I don't see that happening, as this new schedule not only gives me time to find material, but I'll have time for a real life too. Yay. Now, I feel kinda bad about posting this now, because I said I would after finals week. I got kinda caught up in Spring Break, and didn't really get a lot done.

Correction- Besides an impressive kill to death ratio, I didn't really get a lot done. But anyway, I would like to extend my apologies with this post.  Starting next month, I'll be on a regular schedule and be back to posting normally. In the meantime, I'll work on the mutant narwhal.
Until Next Time,
Mr. Fox

Yup, I'm Lazy.

Well, by now you're probably thinking I've given up. WRONG. It's finals week, dear readers! And thus I won't be able to write something until probably this weekend. But to tide you over, I thought I'd post this so you didn't lose all faith in me. Anyway, I'll be back soon.

-Mr Fox

How I Became the Enemy of a Major Fast Food Franchise.

Oh, messenger bag. Why do you not get along with your brother, lunch bag? Why must you pummel him on a day-to-day basis, squishing his insides to a pulp? (Quite literally. You will be missed, PB&J.)

Anyway, yesterday I come to school as usual, and find my lunch bag squished under my heap of books in my incredibly cramped bag, again, as usual. After disposing of the gooey paste that I used to call my sandwich, I went the day without eating. After class, I went to the car and attempted to make it very well known that I was in fact, starving to death because I missed a meal. Oh, the pain I endured.

To my joy, my mother, who was in the car along with my brother and father, fished out some coupons from her purse for a fast food chain that will remain nameless. The coupons were for one free sandwich, if one were to purchase a specific menu item. Another was for free fries and a drink with another sandwich purchase. We figured we'd be able to feed all 4 of us with these coupons, but after reading further, I noticed 'Limit 1 use per customer per visit' But that would not stop our contrivance. We devised a plan. Me and my two parents would go inside the restaurant, posing as 3 separate customers, acting as though we didn't know each other. We would each use a coupon and walk out with food enough for all of us. We had it all planned out, as if we'd been fooling these chumps for all our lives.

We went inside in short intervals, as to not look suspicious. I saw my parents do their part, ordering what they were assigned. Then my turn came. I ordered my food, but in a moment of horrible realization, I remembered...

When the woman turned around to tell the cooks our order, I beckoned my dad to slip me a $10 bill, which he promptly did. Only one problem. We were caught. The little funny lady behind the counter with a speech impediment made it as melodramatic as possible. She shouted, 'HEY! What do you shink chur during!?' I stood baffled at our mistake. We had it all planned out, but we were caught red handed. The customers all looked at us, not knowing what just happened. The mad little woman continued her angry rantings, as though our wish of free food had hurt HER personally. As if we had done something so heinous, that she was in emotional turmoil because of it. She tattled on us. To her manager. The manager came out, not looking too pleased, and told the funny lady that technically we could to that. Red faced, she muttered '...Sh'okay...' and went back to work. We walked out with our heads held high and our arms full of food. But we would be remembered. That much is for sure.

Now today, I'm sitting in my main school's building on the third floor. This place is usually packed with students who talk to one another, or people using their computers, and even teachers who have a break room within earshot. I can see my film teacher enjoying a cup of delicious something right now. Or at least I could. I had a horrible realization dawn on me. There is NO ONE HERE RIGHT NOW. I am literally the only person on this floor. Freaking out, I decided to start an IM session with my good buddy Warren, who goes to another school far away. I was freaked out and my paranoia set in, and he was the unlucky guy who had to hear my crazed ramblings. It went something like this-

Me: What if there's a fire!?

Him: There'd probably be an alarm.

Me: What if I didn't wear enough deodarant!?

Him: There's no one there to even smell you, man.

Me: What if there's a gunman!?

Him: Unless someone hired an assassin to take you out, that's more than likely not the case. Besides, you'd hear gunshots.

That's exactly it. I didn't hear gunshots. And then I remembered the little woman from yesterday. She's out there. She has a rifle. I know it. The wall I'm closest to is just one big window. I'm a sitting duck right now. It wouldn't take much to clear a bunch of college students out of a building.

This personal vendetta brought upon by free food was not worth it. If I'm not going to die from a highly powered scoped rifle, I'll die from the high cholesterol brought upon from eating at that horrible place. Or from the inevitable cyanide poisoning from the little woman. Either way, I know that I am NEVER going to mess with a big corporation again.